I have no idea why I choose to compete in skating. I absolutely hate doing it. I get so freaked out that for a week before I compete I am a basket case. Why does this happen? I am not afraid to be in front of people. I danced for 20 years, have spoken in front of thousands of people and generally love to be the center of attention. But for some reason, this is different. My legs get stiff and shake, my hands go numb, and I can't breathe. It is kinda hard to skate balls out for a minute and forty seconds and look graceful when you can't spin without shaking and you can't feel your hands!
I was not able to skate yesterday due to another commitment, so my coach had me for an hour today. I may as well have stayed at home. It was pitiful! I couldn't land anything to save my life - except for a flip for some reason. My spins were off center. My heel kept sliding out of my skate. I was a hot mess.
I know all of the psychological tricks I am supposed to use on myself. Positive self-talk... visualization... only skating one element at a time... How about cursing yourself out on the ice? Does that work?
Yes - I will be fine. Even if I look like a total idiot on Saturday, I will survive to live another day. But can I just get that through my think skull before I step on the ice?
To be continued...
